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Three Golden Rules for an Amicable Divorce

After 27 years of marriage, Bill and Melinda Gates have filed for divorce. Announcing on Twitter, they said, “After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage.” Despite the divorce, the billionaire couple seem to be parting on good terms, saying that they say they will continue to work together on their charitable foundation. So, is it possible to divorce amicably, and are there any golden rules? This was the question posed to me today by PR company Sanity Marketing

Three Golden Rules for an Amicable Divorce

1. Find a future state that you can both focus on

Even the seemingly most harmonious divorces have moments of high tension that can push an amicable split off course. A common ‘North Star’ for divorcing couples is children. Focusing on what is best for the children has pulled many separating couples back on track.

Bill and Melinda’s baby is the foundation, an organisation that has done a tremendous amount of good and will undoubtedly encourage the Gate’s to stay on an amicable path.

2. Establish ground rules for communication

As Bill knows only too well, technology is often a double-edged sword. A danger for separating couples is the speed and ease in which they can communicate with each other. Establishing communication rules – when, how and why – reduces the risk of a heated reaction and provides the space for couples to start moving on with their own individual lives.

3. Think with your head, not your heart

When emotions are high, intelligence is low. The brain short circuits to deal with a perceived threat caveman-style that stops us from thinking straight.

Undoubtedly Bill and Melinda are low emotion, highly analytical thinkers, but the rest of us can learn to be aware of the emotions before they take over. If you find yourself in or entering an argument, ask yourself why am I engaging in this argument, what do I want to achieve from it, and how likely will I achieve this goal? Even if you cannot answer the questions fully, you will find that the process will interrupt and diffuse the emotions you were experiencing.

If you would like to discuss how Easy Online Divorce can help make your divorce as amicable as possible, call 0204 530 8101 or send us an email.

If you have questions about this article, or anything about divorce, contact us here.

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