Your ex cannot stop you getting divorced simply by refusing to sign the papers. Since no-fault divorce was introduced in England and Wales in April 2022, you no longer need your spouse’s agreement to end your marriage.
However, the court must be satisfied that your ex has received the divorce application. If they refuse to respond, you may need to arrange for the papers to be formally served or ask the court to accept evidence that they’ve already received them.
The good news is there are ways to move your divorce forward, even if your ex refuses to cooperate.
Can my ex refuse to divorce me?
I think the number one concern people have about getting divorced is what happens if my ex refuses to sign the divorce papers?
Before April 2022, this was a very real concern.
Back then, you generally had to accuse your ex of unreasonable behaviour, rely on another legal ground, or prove you’d been separated for five years if they didn’t agree to the divorce.
Even then, your ex could defend the divorce, potentially stopping it altogether or dragging you into a lengthy and expensive legal battle.
Fortunately, all that changed when no-fault divorce was introduced.
Now, you simply have to state that your marriage has broken down irretrievably. There’s no need to blame your ex or prove you’ve been separated.
And importantly, your ex cannot defend the divorce simply because they don’t want to get divorced.
There are still limited legal grounds for disputing a divorce, such as jurisdiction or whether the marriage was legally valid, but simply refusing to accept that the marriage is over isn’t one of them.
If you want to end your marriage, the court isn’t going to force you to stay married just because your ex objects.
So far, so good.
But that doesn’t mean they can’t make things difficult.
What happens if my ex ignores the divorce papers?
When you apply for a divorce, the court needs to know that your ex has received the application.
The court normally sends your ex, known as the respondent, an email or letter asking them to complete something called an Acknowledgment of Service.
This is simply confirmation that they’ve received the application.
Your ex normally has 14 days from being served to respond.
But what if they just ignore it?
Well, this is where things can get a little tricky.
If your ex doesn’t respond, the court may need additional evidence that they’ve received the application before allowing the divorce to proceed.
In my experience helping people through divorce, most people eventually respond, even those who’ve previously declared, “I’ll never give you a divorce!”
But some people are just plain awkward.
Thankfully, there are ways around this.
How can you get divorced if your ex refuses to sign?
If your ex refuses to acknowledge the divorce application, there are two main ways to move things forward.
1. Deemed service: when you can prove your ex received the application
Deemed service is where you ask the court to accept that your ex has received the divorce application, even though they haven’t completed the Acknowledgment of Service.
For example, you might have an email or WhatsApp message from your ex saying:
“I’ve seen the divorce papers, and I’m not signing anything.”
While that response might be frustrating, it could actually be useful evidence.
You can ask the court to make a deemed service order, supported by evidence that your ex has received the application.
If the judge is satisfied, the divorce can proceed without your ex completing the Acknowledgment of Service.
One important point: Evidence that your ex knows you want a divorce isn’t necessarily enough. You need to demonstrate that they’ve received the actual divorce application.
2. Personal service: when your ex refuses to acknowledge the papers
Another option is to have the divorce papers formally delivered to your ex.
This is known as personal service.
You can use a professional process server to deliver the application, or request service by a court bailiff where the requirements are met.
The person serving the papers provides formal evidence of service.
So even if your ex refuses to complete the Acknowledgment of Service, the court can rely on that evidence when deciding whether the divorce can continue.
A court bailiff isn’t automatically available in every situation. There are specific requirements, including that the address is in England or Wales and that other methods of service will normally have been attempted first.
What if I don’t know where my ex lives?
This is a different problem from an ex who knows about the divorce but refuses to cooperate.
If you don’t know where your ex lives, you’ll need to make reasonable efforts to locate them.
Depending on the circumstances, the court may permit an alternative method of service.
If you’ve exhausted reasonable attempts to locate and serve your ex, you may be able to apply for dispensed service.
This asks the court to allow the divorce to continue without the normal requirement to serve the application.
However, this isn’t automatic. You must provide evidence of the attempts you’ve made, and the court must approve your application.
Will my divorce take longer if my ex refuses to respond?
Potentially, yes.
Under the no-fault divorce process, there is a minimum 20-week period before you can apply for a Conditional Order, followed by a further six-week-and-one-day waiting period before you can apply for the Final Order.
In practice, divorces generally take longer once court processing time is included.
If your ex refuses to respond, additional steps to establish service can cause further delays.
The important thing is not to assume that silence means your divorce is stuck permanently.
There are procedures available to help you move forward.
My top tip if you think your ex is going to be awkward
If you think your ex will try to make the divorce difficult, communicate by email, text or WhatsApp rather than over the phone, provided it is safe to contact them.
And once you’ve started your divorce, try to get written confirmation that they’ve received the actual application.
That way, you’ve got a record of what’s been said.
If your ex later refuses to acknowledge the paperwork, that evidence could save you a lot of hassle.
It’s a simple thing, but one that people often overlook.
Frequently asked questions
Can I get divorced without my husband’s or wife’s signature?
Yes. Your spouse’s agreement isn’t required for a divorce in England and Wales. If they don’t respond, the court will need to be satisfied that the divorce application has been properly served or that another permitted procedure applies.
What happens if my ex doesn’t respond within 14 days?
The divorce doesn’t automatically fail. Your ex may still respond after the deadline. If they continue to ignore the application, you can consider the available service procedures to move things forward.
Can my ex refuse to accept divorce papers?
They can refuse to cooperate, but refusing to complete the paperwork doesn’t necessarily prevent the divorce. Properly evidenced personal service may allow the application to proceed without their acknowledgment.
What if my ex blocks my phone number or email?
You may need another way to serve the application, such as personal service. The appropriate route will depend on the circumstances and what contact information you have.
Does it cost extra if my ex refuses to cooperate?
It can. Additional court applications, process servers and bailiff services may involve extra fees. The costs will depend on the method required.
Can my ex stop the divorce by refusing to agree to our financial settlement?
No. The divorce and financial settlement are separate legal matters.
Your ex cannot stop the divorce simply by refusing to reach a financial agreement.
However, you should not assume that obtaining a Final Order resolves your finances. Financial claims can remain open, and it’s important to consider the timing of your financial settlement before finalising the divorce.
If you can reach an agreement, a court-approved consent order can make your financial settlement legally binding.
The bottom line
Your ex can make getting divorced more difficult, but they can’t keep you married simply because they don’t want a divorce.
In my experience, most people eventually cooperate, even those who initially threaten to make things difficult.
But if your ex refuses to respond, there are legal procedures to overcome the problem.
The important thing is knowing what to do next.
Need help with an uncooperative ex?
At Easy Online Divorce, we help people across England and Wales manage their divorce applications, including situations where one spouse refuses to cooperate.
We’re an SRA-regulated law firm offering fixed-fee divorce services, with clear advice and support throughout the process.
Speak to Easy Online Divorce about getting your divorce started.
Written by James Brien, Founder of Easy Online Divorce.
General information about divorce law in England and Wales. The appropriate procedure will depend on your circumstances.
