If your spouse won’t respond to divorce papers, it can feel as though they are in control of the process.
They are not.
This is one of the biggest worries people have when they start a divorce. You apply for the divorce, the court sends the application to your spouse, and then you wait for them to return the acknowledgement of service.
But what happens if they don’t respond?
They might ignore the papers, try to make life difficult, or believe that refusing to respond means they can stop the divorce.
The good news is this: they can’t.
They can delay the divorce, make the process more frustrating and cause extra costs. But under the no-fault divorce law in England and Wales, your spouse cannot simply refuse to divorce you.
Why does your spouse need to respond?
When you make a sole divorce application, the court sends the divorce papers to your spouse.
Your spouse is known as the respondent. They are asked to complete an acknowledgement of service to confirm they have received the divorce application.
This does not mean they are agreeing to every detail. It does not mean they are being asked for permission. And it does not mean they can stop the divorce because they do not like it.
The acknowledgement of service is mainly there so the court knows your spouse has received the papers.
That matters because the court will not allow you to move forward to the conditional order stage until it is satisfied that your spouse knows about the divorce.
The conditional order is the stage where the court confirms you are entitled to a divorce. This used to be called the decree nisi.
Can my spouse refuse to divorce me by not responding?
No.
This is one of the biggest misunderstandings about divorce.
Since no-fault divorce was introduced in England and Wales, your spouse cannot defend the divorce just because they do not want it to happen.
If one person says the marriage has broken down irretrievably, the court accepts that.
Your spouse may not like the divorce, and they may refuse to engage or ignore the papers altogether. Some people use silence as a way of keeping control, but it does not give them the legal power to stop the divorce.
Ignoring the divorce papers is a delaying tactic. It is not a defence.
What should you do first?
Before paying for extra applications or service, it is worth trying one simple thing first.
If it is safe and appropriate, speak to your spouse or send them a clear message explaining that they cannot stop the divorce by ignoring the papers. Their refusal to respond will only delay the process, and if further steps are needed, it may create extra costs.
You may also ask the court to make them pay those extra costs.
In many cases, this is enough.
Once a spouse realises that refusing to respond is a pointless exercise that may end up costing them money, they often return the acknowledgement of service.
If they still refuse, you have three main options.
Option 1: Use a process server or court bailiff
The most practical way to deal with a spouse who ignores divorce papers is personal service.
Personal service means the divorce papers are handed to your spouse by someone independent, such as a process server or court bailiff.
In practice, a process server is often the better option. They are more flexible, can make several attempts, and can serve the papers at different times if needed.
Once your spouse has been served, the process server provides proof to the court.
This is important because once the court is satisfied your spouse has received the papers, your divorce can continue even if they still refuse to respond.
That is why personal service is often the quickest and most effective route. It removes the argument that your spouse did not know about the divorce.
Option 2: Apply for deemed service
If you are sure your spouse has received the divorce papers, but they have not returned the acknowledgement of service, you can ask the court to treat them as served.
This is called deemed service.
You will need evidence showing that your spouse has received the divorce application. This could be a text message where they mention the divorce papers, a WhatsApp message showing they know about the application, an email confirming they have received it, or proof that the papers were delivered to the correct address.
The court will then decide whether the evidence is good enough.
Deemed service can work well if you have strong evidence, but it is not always the best first option.
If the evidence is weak, the court may refuse the application. That is why personal service is often the safer route.
Option 3: Ask the court to dispense with service
If you do not know where your spouse is, you can ask the court to dispense with service.
This means asking the court to let the divorce continue even though your spouse has not been served.
But this is not an easy route.
You will need to show the court that you have made proper efforts to find your spouse. This could include checking old addresses, speaking to family members or friends, contacting previous employers, searching social media, and using any other reasonable way of locating them.
The court will not dispense with service just because finding your spouse is inconvenient. You need to show that you have made serious attempts to find them.
In most cases, the better option is to use a tracing service first. If your spouse can be found, the divorce papers can then be served on them properly.
What if I do not know where my spouse lives?
If you do not know where your spouse lives, it does not mean you are stuck.
If your spouse is likely still in the UK, a tracing service may be able to find their current address.
At Easy Online Divorce, our tracing service costs £150 and is no trace, no fee.
Once your spouse has been found, the divorce papers can be served at their address and the divorce can move forward.
This is often quicker, easier and cheaper than asking the court to dispense with service.
Can I ask the court to make my spouse pay the extra costs?
Yes, you can ask.
If your spouse has deliberately ignored the divorce papers and forced you to pay for further steps, you can ask the court to make them pay those costs.
That does not mean the court will automatically agree. But if their refusal to respond has caused unnecessary delay and expense, it is reasonable to ask.
This is another reason why it can help to warn your spouse before taking further action.
Sometimes, once they realise they may end up paying for the delay they have caused, they stop playing games and respond.
Will this delay my divorce?
Yes, it can.
A spouse who ignores the divorce papers can slow the process down because you may need to take extra steps before the court will allow the divorce to continue.
But the important point is this:
Delay is not the same as stopping the divorce.
Once the court is satisfied your spouse has received the divorce papers, your divorce can move forward.
Can my spouse stop the divorce by not responding?
No.
Your spouse can delay the divorce by ignoring the papers, but they cannot stop it.
If they do not respond, you can ask for the papers to be personally served, apply for deemed service, or take further steps through the court.
The court needs to be satisfied that your spouse has received the divorce application. Once that has been dealt with, the divorce can continue.
Can I still get a financial order if my spouse won’t respond?
This is where you need to be careful.
The divorce itself and the financial order are separate things.
If your spouse ignores the divorce papers, there are steps you can take to keep the divorce moving.
But if you also need a financial order, such as a clean break order, consent order or pension sharing order, your spouse needs to engage with the financial side.
A consent order is based on agreement. That means both people need to provide the right financial information and sign the documents.
If your spouse refuses to provide financial information, refuses to sign anything, or will not engage at all, you cannot force them into a consent order.
At that point, you may need to go down the contested route through the courts. This is where the court is asked to make a decision about the financial settlement because the two of you cannot reach an agreement.
This is a much more expensive route. Instead of a fixed-fee agreed consent order, contested financial proceedings often involve solicitors, court hearings, formal disclosure, negotiations and ongoing legal costs.
That is why it is always better, where possible, to reach an agreement and have that agreement turned into a legally binding consent order.
If your spouse is simply ignoring the divorce papers, we can help with that.
If your spouse is refusing to engage with the financial settlement altogether, the issue is no longer just about getting divorced. It becomes a contested financial dispute, and that is a very different process.
How can Easy Online Divorce help?
At Easy Online Divorce, we help people move forward when their spouse is not responding.
If your spouse is ignoring the divorce papers, we can help with the next step, including personal service where the papers need to be served on them directly. If you do not know where your spouse lives, we can also help trace them so the divorce can continue.
Our managed divorce service is £299, plus the £612 court fee. If your spouse ignores the divorce papers, our bailiff/process server service is £449. And, if you do not know where your spouse lives, our tracing service is £150 and is no trace, no fee.
We are SRA regulated, fixed fee, and trusted by thousands of people across England and Wales.
Key takeaway
If your spouse won’t respond to your divorce petition, it is frustrating, but it does not mean your divorce is stuck forever.
They can delay the process, make things more difficult and cause extra costs. But they cannot stop the divorce simply by ignoring the papers.
The best option is often to speak to them first and make it clear that refusing to respond is a pointless exercise that may cost them money.
If that does not work, personal service is usually the quickest and most effective next step.
Once the court is satisfied your spouse has received the divorce papers, your divorce can continue even if your spouse still refuses to respond.
If you are worried your spouse will ignore the divorce papers, or you do not know where they live, contact Easy Online Divorce and we can explain the best route forward.
