Want a quick, low-cost divorce? Best learn how to communicate with your spouse. Here’s how.
Let’s call a spade a spade. The chances are you don’t want to communicate with your spouse. That’s why you are getting a divorce after all. But if you want a quick divorce that doesn’t ruin you financially, you need to communicate.
I know it’s not easy, but it is possible. I like to think of it as playing the long game. The long game being a happy life, free of stress from your previous marriage. Keeping the long game in mind helps keep us on track. What follows are some tips on how to manage your communication to keep conflict down and help you reach an agreement on your divorce.
How to communicate to get a quick divorce
When couples separate, one or both may be upset or angry, which affects their ability to communicate. This gets in the way of achieving a quick divorce because it is difficult to reach a favourable outcome in this state of mind. Angry exchanges can lengthen the divorce process, making it more painful and potentially costlier for everybody involved.
Poor communication is often a problem in our relationships, and it usually continues to be an issue amongst divorcing couples. It is critical to communicate effectively, especially when dealing with your divorce. But did you know that only seven per cent of what we communicate is through words? Is it any wonder that we have trouble communicating sometimes? Thirty-eight per cent of what we say is conveyed through the tone and volume of our voice, and fifty-five per cent is expressed through our body language and facial expressions.
Using body language to communicate
Facial expressions are a big giveaway, so it is essential to have control over your emotions and remain calm. Your words, gestures and facial expressions must match. If they don’t, your spouse will sense that you are not being truthful. For example, you might say that you agree with something, but your tone and body language are communicating annoyance.
Preparation is the key. Before communicating, in person or on the phone, settle your mind by using your body in the following neutral, confident gestures:
- Spread your weight evenly across both feet whether standing or sitting
- Stand or sit up straight
- Relax your shoulders
- Keep your arms in an open posture
- Breathe slowly and deeply
- Speak slowly and clearly
- Use appropriate eye contact
The quickest way to control your mind and your divorce process is to manage your physical state. By applying these gestures, not only will you look confident, but you will also feel more confident, which will allow you to tackle difficult conversations more effectively.
The power of listening
Getting your point across and keeping the temperature down is not always easy, but it is essential if you want to secure a quick divorce. Fortunately, communication is not only talking; it’s listening too. By learning to listen effectively, you can truly understand your spouse and discover their motivations.
Quite often, especially in a heated conversation, we don’t listen to each other. We hear some of the words, fill in the gaps with assumptions and interrupt with our responses. Through active listening, we can be clear on what the other person is saying, which enables us to respond more effectively to get what we want.
Active listening requires us to concentrate on what is being said and to use clarification to better understand the meaning. For example, “What I think I’m hearing is… Is that right?” allows your spouse to confirm that you have understood correctly or to clarify their position. This slows down the exchange and gives you a chance to respond rationally and reasonably, which helps to minimise conflict.
The case for an uncontested divorce
An uncontested divorce is undoubtedly the easiest on couples and their children. Uncontested divorce essentially means that both parties can reach an agreement about the reasons for their divorce. The benefits are a quick, low-cost divorce that has a low psychological impact on spouses, their children and friends and family.
Couples who cannot agree on these terms will need to use the services of an expensive high street solicitor.
Not only is a contested divorce expensive, but it is time-consuming and emotionally harmful to couples, their children and close friends and family. It is for these reasons that Easy Online Divorce works with couples to help them agree to an uncontested divorce.
Instead of visiting a solicitor and getting charged upwards of £180 per hour, Easy Online Divorce can get your divorce papers completed almost effortlessly, within 24 hours and without you even needing to leave your home.
At Easy Online Divorce, our Fully Managed Divorce service costs £199. It provides you with complete peace of mind as we manage your uncontested divorce process for you.
Everything from start-to-finish is handled for you including completion of all papers, filing them at court and dealing with any queries from the judge. We proactively follow up with the courts on a daily basis to make sure your divorce is processed as quickly as possible.
And to reduce conflict even further, we have a couples divorce service where we work with both of you. Not only does this result in the fastest divorce times, it also tends to have the lowest level of tension which is perfect if you are seeking to agree a financial settlement too. For more information visit this page.